I Must Be Dense
I really must be, as we have a new worker this morning and I am listening in, and really, have to wonder, where does Beacon find these people? How can they send them into a home, when they don’t have a clue?
Yes, you do need to remove the night clothing before beginning a sponge bath, especially when fresh one is laid out for you to use.
No, you are not here to supervise a 92 year old from washing her own feet, body. The whole reason you are here, is to ASSIST HER IN DOING WHAT SHE IS NO LONGER ABLE TO DO.
Least that is how I would look at it. Or am I perhaps, dense?
Do I have it wrong, and people request workers to watch them clean themselves? Do they have home support because, well gee, they can do the job of washing up, but are too lazy to do it?
So far we have about twelve (12) ’stand up now’ for a lady that needs a walker to move around, who is unsteady on her feet along with a weakened arm strength. She has been here before, when Mom had the cast on, and I am almost certain I kicked her out, or at least complainted about not sending her again.
Problem is, they sent so many INCOMPETENT WORKERS it is very hard to keep track of them all. Now who knows, so I am at a loss, but I know I’ll be dealing with this for the rest of the day, and longer. That is the major complication of things like this, it doesn’t just end when the worker leaves, but festers, and becomes a huge distraction for Mom, which translates into a more stressful time for me. I have to calm her down.
BUT WHO CALMS ME DOWN?
Simple Exercises
Yesterday the Doctor sent his Physio Nurse over, to try and get some idea of Mom’s strengths, weaknesses, and to figure out an exercise plan for her. Nice concept, nice to have that sort of backup too, from one’s Doctor. Yet, to be honest, what she called simple exercises, aren’t all that simple for a lady of 92, though I have to say, was impressed on how Mom managed them.
They really aren’t hard to do, to help build up her arm strength, or leg strength, and who knows I might even benefit from doing them with her. Might make it easier for her too, but now comes the big questions, that naturally I forgot to ask.
- How often do we do the exercises?
- Do we do them all at one time or split them up during the day?
- When do we start to increase the number of repititions?
- Should I involve the morning home care workers for a morning routine?
Interesting to note, at how much one forgets to ask, when the person is there to answer them. Kind of makes you wish you could see into the future, but then, not sure I want to. That’s getting dangerous, scary too.
Point is, we need (as caregivers) to be constantly thinking ahead, and to try and fathom what obstacles we are going to face, to accomplish certain tasks. I think this is giving me an insight, in how to prepare for various visits, such as from the Doctor, the Nurses that come for specific task.
One needs to keep track of so much, that it does become ’system overload’ but you know, the computer can make things easier. Only trouble is, to organize it so you can account for the different variables, like tracking med changes, tracking weight or blood pressure. But also for tracking questions, keeping notes on daily happenings such as excessive puffing, exertions.
Lots to think of, lots to try and sort out. This should be interesting, applying my computer skills (what little I have) into making this all work out.
Doctor’s Visit
So, the Doctor is coming to visit Mom tomorrow (Tuesday). It has benn awhile since he’s seen her actually, which was back in November. The Nurse has been here since, twice not, but that’s been it. I suppose partly because I really haven’t complained, or informed him of any issues.
I wonder if this comes down to having a weird sense of Entitlement?
However, the thing is, when he does come, what preparations should one be taking? I mean if I have questions, then shouldn’t I find a way to make note of them, to ask him when he is here? I do like how one can email him and stuff, and yes phone too, but face to face is also important, but I get a bit tongue tied. That and the fact that Mom is right there, so kind of hard at times to discuss the issues that make me nervous.
Like, how do I prepare myself for the worsening of her health? To the point where the care is more than what it is now?
The Looks, The Stares
Every day, every night, it happens.
I don’t know why, but it is almost as if her mind has wandered off somewhere, deep inside. It is hard to see, to cope with. I know, it is old age, and perhaps even signs of her mind slowly going. Could even be a sign of previous strokes, or ‘mini infarctions’ as the Paramedic said awhile back.
No one has talked to me about it, which is rather odd. I mean why do Doctors speak in such guarded tones? Do they expect me to fall to my knees, sobbing? Or is it their goal to try and enforce the perception that they are GODS? I know, I am sounding bitter, but really, it just makes it harder for me to cope with, the not knowing.
I haven’t a clue how to manage it, and perhaps a good discussion with the Doctor would help, but they are so distant, so apart from those in their care. It is frustrating as hell, and really, who can one talk to? David is too young, too much of a runner than a coper, so who is left?
I know I should ask the Doctor, or the Nurse, but how?
How do you broach the subject, when every part of you wants to ignore it, to not know, but you need to know. Knowledge is key, isn’t it? Still, how do you begin that kind of conversation?
