My Mother's Life Dedicated to the Only Woman I'll Love, My Mother.

I honestly wonder how others manage.

Between the cost of medicines, and incidentals, looking after an elderly parent is not cheap.

To begin with, you basically wind up losing your own income, because caregiving  is a full time job in itself. In some cases more than a full time job, because you are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Even Interns who work 36 hours straight, get time off.

Your Utilities will be higher, even if you use energy saving appliances.  After all, Older People get chilled easier than most people, so you have to run the furnace more, even at times when you would normally turn it off.  Old people need to be kept warm, which means space heaters as well. Add that to your Electric bill.

Laundry is not once a week, because no matter how much you change the depends, there is spill overs.  Unless you have an abundant supply of clothing for fresh changes, you are going to be doing laundry pretty much daily. I know I do at least one load per day, sometimes more.  That translates into higher water usage, as well as higher electric use.

Even if you wash in Cold Water, it still adds up because you are doing it every day.  Don’t forget that also makes those added essentials like Laundry detergent, bleach additives, go a lot faster.  You can’t afford to run out either, because most of those clothes are contaminated with Urine.

Towels and clothing wear out faster as well, because of the added washing.

Then there is the whole food thing.  Prices continue to go up, just like the cost of heating, electricity.  Old people like certain things, but what they like today, they may not want tomorrow. It can be expensive if you stock up on certain foods, to only find that they no longer want them. If you can’t stock up, then you are forced to buy at regular prices, not just when they are on sale.

Given today’s consumer prices rising almost daily, that is a huge cost to absorb.

Then there are other things, like depends.  You MUST have sufficient on hand, because there are days when you can go through as many as six or more depends, other days you may only need two or three.  You can’t afford to not be stocked up on those.  Okay, you can I suppose if you want to be stingy and mean, but this is your parent, how can you not want them to remain dry and clean?

Plus, if you don’t keep them dry and clean, you run the risk of infection, of worsening health conditions.  That alone has to worry you every time you check the supply, and see it getting small.

Rubber gloves is another issue. IF you don’t use them, you run the risk of passing on your germs, or in becoming infected by theirs.  How is that going to help them if you are incapacitated?  And rubber gloves aren’t cheap.  About $10 per hundred, and if you do three changes a day, that is 6 gloves per day. Doesn’t sound like much, but that means a box is good for about 17 days, but only if there are just 3 changes per day. Add one or two more, and you have less than a 2 week supply.  So you need to stockpile those as well.

Consider the one element that you have precious little of, that is constant too.  TIME.

Each change can run about 30 to 45 minutes.  Then there is laundry, sorting and folding and putting away.  That is a good half hour to forty five minutes every day.   And you are expected to try and earn a living in the time left in between.  Course that doesn’t include preparing meals three times a day, or in getting every day’s medicine lined up.  Medicines that aren’t covered by Pharmacare as well, have to be kept on hand, like laxatives.  Last thing you need is your loved one constipated.

Other essentials like disinfectant sprays, cleaning supplies, go a lot faster when you are looking after a Parent, or elderly person.  It also takes a lot of time, and energy, to do it every single day, because there is no time off.  You are on the job every day, and even when you sleep, you are on the job. You can’t just close your eyes and drift off into sleep, because part of you is awake, waiting for some noise, some signal that something is wrong. You can’t just drift off and not think about it.

Your mind is attuned to any changes, so you can react, deal with it.  Your mind is wondering, will the regular worker be coming tomorrow, or will it be a substitute?  You wonder will she suddenly not want what you have planned for breakfast, or you wonder, what can you make for dinner, so she eats something.

Oh did I mention that you need to have Boost ( or similar product ) on hand to supplement her diet, because she simply doesn’t eat enough food?  That is like $8 per 6 bottles, which is 3 days supply.

Now I guess if you have a good income, its all manageable, but what if you don’t? What if your spouse makes good money, but is at the low end of the Middle Class scale?  After they pay taxes, and you cover the Utilities and car insurance bills, what is left?   Not a hell of a lot, and let’s not forget it costs to live in a house.   Move to an Apartment you say?  Okay, how are three people going to live in a small apartment, that costs about as much as a house does?  Hell many two bedroom apartments cost around $1000 a month, so I’ll take the house over that any day.

I made the choice, to not shove my Mother into a home, and I accept that decision as being mine.  I accept the costs, the stress that comes with taking this on,  Thing is, I wonder why our Government things it isn’t a job?  I get no compensation for it, not even tax breaks, and what little we get, is like a drop in the bucket.  It is frustrating, because you know, Government is insulated from the reality of life. I’d love to see Stephen Harper or Christie Clark manage for a month on what I do.

Maybe they’d be less cruel and callous about the way the Oil Industry rapes our pockets, or how the big telecom giants rip us off for phones, or cable.  Maybe they’d have a little more compassion on setting up rebates instead of doling out a piddly $25 to cover increased heating costs. Maybe they would insure that contracts given out to private firms, were monitored for abuse, for being insufficient.  Maybe companies like Beacon Community Services would not be expanding on the backs of the low income patients they look after, and that the majority of their staff would be qualified, instead of it being a minority.

And maybe I’ll win the lottery tomorrow.