Who is the Wicked One? ME! (lol)
The whole concept of Home Support, is to provide respite for the main care giver. In my Mother’s case, that is me. However, the simple truth is, that for most of the time, Home Support (as provided by VIHA & Beacon Community Services)is anything but helpfull.
The constant worry over who will show up, & how capable they are, is a drain of one’s natural reserves. Reserves we (24/7 care givers) need to deal with the minute by minute stress of caring for an elderly parent. YES, so far the schedule is holding, for the most part, but like I’ve mentioned, in 60 weeks of daily service, we have had our schedule be completed only ONCE without changes.
THOSE AREN’T GOOD ODDS, NO MATTER HOW YOU SLICE IT.
Today I am sick, feeling like Hell, but I have to remain vigilant, because what choice is there? A worker can call in sick, but how do we, the full time care givers, call in sick? It’s not possible. Oh, I know, we can call on Beacon Community Services to provide a worker, so I can go rest, but I can’t do that.
The reason is simple. I cannot trust that the worker being provided would be competent, unless it was one of the few we now trust. And to request them, simply for my comfort would mean robbing someone else of their skills. Something I am not prepared to do. You can’t just talk the talk, you have to walk the line too.
The solution rests in insuring that the MAJORITY of Home Support Workers are like those we now trust. Instead, we are faced where these trusted & qualified workers, ARE THE EXCEPTION.
I need to sleep, to rest more, but can’t due to the constant worry over who will show up tomorrow, irrespective of what the schedule says. I need to take time off, but can’t, because there is no one to take my place, so I am a prisoner, to my own sense of responsibility.
This is Care Giving 101, it is also called LOVE FOR YOUR PARENT.