When You Forget

Personal Opinion by Ian Kovnats

Copyright © 2009 ◊ All Rights Reserved

I don’t know if it is how it is structured, or if it is simply incompetence, but when a home support forgets to do the basics, the ramifications for the caregiver are multiplied many times over. It isn’t Rocket Science, but simple common sense, which seems lacking today. And I do wonder, is it that people care less, or that they are under some unrealistic time constraints, that lets things slip through the cracks.

Like remembering to replace a soiled undergarment.

As I get older, I know my memory is not at its peak performance level. Part of that is old age, though really fifty four isn’t that old, is it? I think though, that a great deal of my lapses, are due to increased stress. Constant worry over a loved one, over their health and their ability to cope with changes, does weigh heavy on a person’s mind. Least on mine, it does.

Mother is 92, and with a broken wrist, the stress levels are way up there. Stands to reason I suppose, that at times, it gets a bit hard to cope. I mean it isn’t easy to change a pair of soiled depends, that are soaked through with urine, or feces. Yet it is what one must do, and it does get a bit easier, over time.

The smell is the hardest part, but you manage to close your nostrils, or at least pretend it isn’t that bad. Truth is, it is that bad, and smell is a powerful sense. Not sure if you can ever truly get used to it, but what is the alternative?

I suppose you can hire someone else to do it, assuming you have that kind of cash laying around, but if you don’t? Then what? You certainly can’t leave the person for hours in their own urine, feces, though I suppose some animals will do that, but then, how can they say they care? I just can’t do it, nor has the notion ever crossed my mind, so I wonder, how can someone supposedly trained in home support, forget to deal with that basic element?

When one’s task is to wash and clean a person, how can you forget a simple chore, like replacing a soiled pad, panty, depend, or whatever? I mean would be rather standard, don’t you think? Yet today, that is exactly what happened. The assigned worker this morning, arrived late. That sort of set the tempo, I guess.

It is my fault too, because I know that this morning’s worker was not what I’d call the A Team, not even the C Team really. Nice enough lady, but not qualified, by any stretch of the imagination. She tries, which is nice, but this lady needs to attend an intensive course in how to care for an elderly patient.

And let’s stop this name calling. People under Home Care, are NOT CLIENTS. THESE PEOPLE ARE PATIENTS IN NEED OF CARE, NOT MISTREATMENT, NOT GOOD INTENTIONS, BUT HONEST PROPER CARE.

I am serious about this. We use euphemisms so as to avoid the guilt of screwing up, when we do. It is a lot easier to ignore that we are making mistakes, when it is just ‘a client’ versus ‘a patient’.

When I have to step in, to help get Mother out of bed, so as to avoid stressing her out, to avoid possible injury, I think it should be obvious, that the worker needs some refresher course, at best. You cannot allow ON THE JOB TRAINING when the PATIENT IS 92.

My mistake this morning, was to take the time to sit down, to fix breakfast for Mom, and just grab a few minutes to myself. I should have stayed close by, to insure that she did manage to properly clean Mom up, and yes, to make sure she dressed her properly.

To be honest, my real mistake is to have allowed Beacon Community Services send anyone. I should have bitten the bullet, and refused to allow them to send in their untrained personnel, for the care of my mother. That is a mistake I intend to rectify.

Now to be fair, several of those coming to the home are good. I really have had only two people, who I simply would not let in the door a second time, while the majority I find are very pleasant, and willing. However, the bottom line is that they are here to help my mother, to give me an hour break, not add to my workload.

Patricia Donaldson has done a remarkable job, in helping to solve the inconsistency of new workers. Least it looks that way, though it could simply be that they have run out of new workers to send. Yes, I am being sarcastic, but in all honesty, I do think Patricia has tried her best to accommodate me, and still keep to company policy.

That said, I also think a lot more needs to be done, in order to provide safe and quality workers for those patients in need. Training does seem to be minimal, at best, despite all the assurances from every avenue, and yet I wonder, do they even know what training any particular worker actually has?

Did they graduate at the top of the class, or the bottom? Did the company who passed them, ever fail anyone? Was it that they made the grade, after a second try, third, or fifth attempt at the course?

The point is this. As a result of forgetting a simple thing, like replacing soiled undergarments (depends in this case) Mother sat in her own urine. Her ability to tell if she is wet, is a bit, well, less proficient than you or I would be. So she sat in it, for God only knows how long.

Then in going back to her room, the trail of urine now dots the carpet, which means cleaning. Not a big deal, but you know, when one is already exhausted from doing this 24/7, it is a big deal. As well, more laundry, including now her shoes, is on tap for the day, when it wasn’t scheduled. It had all been done yesterday, so this was to be a day free of laundry.

Laundry means running up and down stairs. Not hard for someone healthy, like me, but when you are already run down, it is a chore, one would love to avoid. Not what you can do, such as today.

Now all that, the change from a wet nightshirt, a soiled nightgown, shoes, is not all that big of a deal. Nor is the added laundry, but in order to do all that, you have to remove the old, replace with clean. You also then have to wash, and wipe, and I am a guy, not a girl, so there is the embarrassment for her, which is unnecessary. It is also why Beacon Home Support is here.

Fact of the matter is, urine can burn. When you have skin that is already not in the best of condition, the added discomfort is not what you want to have happen. Hence, why I perhaps am making a big deal out of this, but I have to wonder, what about those poor souls, who don’t have a 24/7 caregiver like Mom has? What about those who don’t have a son or daughter willing to take that task on?

How are they faring?

I am not on a witch hunt, because like I have stated, the overall majority of those coming into our home, are nice and enjoyable people. The problem lies in that the training or experience level is not what it should be. AND that is what causes the problems.

With older people, it takes them a lot longer to get over something as minor as piddling in their pants, if they have them on. It takes them more time to recover from things like a burning skin or rash, due to the acid of laying in their own urine. It takes the little strength they have, to combat something that shouldn’t be.