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December 3, 2009 at 11:51 pm
We watched a movie tonight, like most every nights, and this wasn’t the kind of movie I expected. It was a tear jerker, called “Marley and Me”. It was good, too damn good as it had me balling like a baby. Also, the memories it brought back, were & are, painful.
I’ve had to put two dogs down in my life, and the last one was a real kicker. Hell both were, but the scene in the movie, where he is doing that, brought that scene back, one that still haunts me. I hate it, but worse, it also brought back the memory of Dad passing away in the Hospital.
How Dad’s eyes looked at me, trying to tell me, to remind me to take care of Mom, of David. It was hard to see, and how he looked. I can see it now, as I type this and the tears are still flowing. You know, whoever said grown men don’t cry is full of shit.
Sad movies are not good, though the memories are always there. These kind of shows, just bring them forward, and it’s strange, how it just, well overwhelms you. I don’t know how I can go through this again, and yet I know I will. I have a dog, and she’s a real pain, just like Marley, and yet, it is true. She loves us with her heart, every single day, and yet that isn’t what has me in tears. It is the look on Mom’s face, how she kept watching it, remembering Dad, and then too, thinking of when it comes to be her time.
She may becoming more ornery at times, more demanding, and yet, she isn’t. I can’t explain it, but it is like she is fighting the ravages of ninety two years, of the hard life she led. It hasn’t been easy, still isn’t, and if anything is a bit harder now. Things are costly, and I try, but how far can I stretch a buck? And yet I do, and I know, it is going to keep on being this way, as she is not going to get all that better.
Mom may have years left, and despite all that is going on, I still hope for that, and more. I just don’t know, how I can go through it again, seeing the eyes staring, wondering, what she might be saying or thinking, as the life passes into history.
I just don’t know anymore, how I’ll cope, how she will handle it. I don’t understand GOD, on how he can have engineered such a thing as us, and then to have us go through all this. I Love GOD, but at times he makes me so angry, makes me feel so helpless. I see the pain, and I have to wonder, why?
This is indeed much harder than I ever thought.
July 7, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Not a typical movie, because actually it was good.
I don’t know, but you watch television, and really it is just so much crap, that it isn’t worth paying the cable bill. Then there is the commercials. Like that really makes a crappy show more entertaining. NOT!
Mom seemed quite enthralled with the movie, and that makes it a great movie for me. Thankfully Niko Video has a lot of movies. Somehow I think we’ll be going through a good number of them, but you know, it is hard to find something that isn’t blood and guts, or just plain nauseating.
Last Chance Harvey was a good flick, made mom smile. Good enough for me.
July 6, 2009 at 10:15 pm
There are times, really, when you have to wonder about the people who write descriptions for videos. I mean, seriously I had no idea at just how raunchy this movie was going to be. I suppose you would call it softcore porn, but the funny thing is, Mom enjoyed it.
Not bad for a 92 year old, now is it?
Certainly not something I’d recommend to all seniors, but hell, it made her laugh and you know, that’s what it is all about. Those moments, when her face lights up, when she laughs, and not a polite titter either, but a good guffaw. That sort of makes it a good night, in my books.
