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Total Lack of Compassion

  • Posted on January 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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outsourcing is wrongToday is just one more example, of how Beacon Community Services FAILS ITS PATIENTS.

To begin with, how many times are you expected to go online, to check a schedule?

I am assuming that somehow Beacon Community Services expects its Patients to be checking the schedule multiple times per hour.  Yes PER HOUR, because it can change in a blink of an eye.

For example, this morning they changed the time of the regular worker, by a half hour.

Just now, they changed the scheduled worker for this afternoon to another worker.

Can you just see some elderly person going online and checking their schedule each and every hour? I CAN, because old people get nervous, they can imagine all sorts of things, and when you have NO CONSISTENCY IN SUPPLY REGULAR HOME WORKERS, well, you know they are going to be anxious.

Course, just how many elderly people are actually online, or able to use a computer effectively?  Guess those who can’t, or aren’t online, simply sit in urine and feces, hoping that eventually the Beacon worker will show up, or that whoever does arrive, can figure out what to do.

And that is a mild statement.

It is an obvious lack of compassion for those intrusted into their care, by a Government that only considers the bottom line, and not give a damn about the people they are impacting, by outsourcing Home Care to cruel, heartless, greedy corporations.

YES THAT IS YOU BEACON COMMUNITY SERVICES   -  A GREEDY COLD HEARTED CORPORATION

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She Can See It and Hear It BUT

  • Posted on August 24, 2011 at 8:57 am
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… there is no way she could have seen what she says, and very very doubtful she could have heard what she claims to have heard.

So now it gets tougher, and I haven’t a clue on how to deal with it.

She says she has seen people use our backyard to cut through to the main street. Not possible, given the blackberry bushes and David’s junk in the yard, but she insists she has seen them.  Hard to do when laying in a bed.

That was a few days ago, or perhaps longer now. My memory is starting to have things run into each other. Time is just a blur.

Last night it was noises. She couldn’t tell me what kind of noise, but then she said it was water running. Which most likely was David flushing the toilet. Then it was other noises. And through all this, she is also saying I am making her feel stupid, because I am telling her there is nothing to worry about.

So just what do you say, when someone is insistent they hear ( or see ) something, you absolutely KNOW they couldn’t have?

How do you deal with their paranoia because otherwise, they get a rotten night’s sleep, at best. And that isn’t a good thing.  Course your own sleep is rather, stressed, but that is besides the point.

It is amazing, at how they ( old people ) can fixate on something, that might not even be there. And is that a sign of something more insidious, like Dementia?   Or is it a reaction to medications?

Naturally you just can’t ignore it either. What if she really did hear something?  And then too, the whole issue of not wanting to bother you, so she uses the bell instead of the buzzer.  Now the Bell is fine, when I am upstairs or out on the balcony. You can hear it easily, even over the television ( if it was on ).   But not downstairs.

Hence the buzzer we got. Yet she won’t use it, because she thinks it is for emergencies only, but what does she think is an emergency? I mean, these are the questions that go through my head, after episodes like last night. Will she call if something serious happens to her, like hard to breathe, or something like that? Or will she not think it important, so only use the bell?

One thing is certain, there are no easy answers.

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Combatting the Fixations, the Paranoia

  • Posted on August 22, 2011 at 9:21 am
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Our backyard is cluttered. We have black berry bushes all around the back fence to the neighbors, and to the side. The other side is filled with ‘wifey’s’ junk.  Anyone attempting to go through that backyard, is gonna either need a Tetanus shot or at least some bandaging.  It is a jungle, with a clear spot in the center. To get to the backyard, one either goes through the back door, or attempts to make their way through the sides.  Either side is just as cluttered, and perhaps treacherous, if I was to be blunt.

Yet Mom insists that people are using our backyard to get to the main thoroughfare behind us. That also includes going through the backyard neighbors yards.

Just how does one combat that fixation?

Nothing I can say will convince her otherwise. I even showed her, by taking her up to the window so she could see for herself, and yet she insists that somehow, she has seen a myriad of people using the backyard.  Course, she was in bed at the time, the drapes were closed, and you can’t see the backyard from her bed. But no, she insists she has seen people going back and forth through the backyard.

There is no handbook for any of this, and you don’t want to argue with her either. That only makes it worse, so what does a person do?

Best I can come up with, is to reassure her that no one is using the backyard, to try and get through to her that even if someone was to get into the backyard, that between David, the Dog, and Myself, we’d know it and deal with it. No one is going to tangle with the three of us.  It pacifies her, briefly, but every few days now, it comes up in some form or another.

The most recent incidents, is that she is now certain someone is deliberately shining a flashlight in her window. So she is scared to sleep, or have the window open at night, despite the room being extremely warm and humid.

Now we do have two neighbors, that have those big floodlights, that go on when there is movement in their yards.  Well one is a yard, the other is a damn pub.  So you know that light is constantly going on and off till after 2 or 3 in the morning.  In addition, car headlights can flash through. I get that in my own bedroom, which is directly under Mom’s. 

So part of the fixation is based on reality, but nothing I can say will convince her that it isn’t some deliberate person, trying to break in. It makes her stay awake needlessly, and adds stress to her already stressed life.

At the moment, the only solution I can think of, is that I’ll have to figure out a way to move upstairs, and be there for the early parts of the evening, so she will feel re-assured that she is safe. That in turn should allow her to fall asleep sooner, and take away the fear she is having now.  Problem is, that means I wind up with a great deal less sleep, and that isn’t going to help her in the long term.

Only way to avoid that, is to actually make the small room into my bedroom, which means a smaller bed, and all that goes with moving upstairs. It adds to the disconnect between me and David, but the issue is, eventually it will have to be that way. I can see it now, coming, or is it already here?

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Those Little Things Really Annoy

  • Posted on August 12, 2011 at 12:00 pm
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I suppose it is simply impatience, or maybe fatigue. But honestly, the little noises and habits seem to really be more annoying than anything these days.  It is like being on edge constantly, as you try to ignore them, but wind up becoming angry, frustrated.

Perhaps it is that there is simply nothing a person can do about them.

Like Mom’s constant whimpering. It could be a breathing issue, though I don’t know. But it is constant almost all the time, which intrudes even over loud music. And you can’t really have too loud, as you have to be able to hear of any discomfort, or issues like choking, coughing, or calling for you.  Yeah, even when she’s only a few feet away, you have to listen hard at times to hear.

And it grates on the nerves, because you can’t say a word.

The instant you do, even if it is to ask if she’s in discomfort, you are risking adding to the unreasonable fears, that seem to just take hold of older people. I mean she fixates on things, that you and I wouldn’t even think about, let alone worry about.

Like assuming people are using our yard to cross over from our street to a main thoroughfare behind us. Not possible, or likely, but she is insistent that they are, on a routine basis, because she has seen them do it.  Only problem is, it happens late at night, and she is in bed. She doesn’t get up to go look out her bedroom window, and even if she did get up out of bed, I’d hear it. Her bedroom is above mine, and my bedroom window is open. Hell, the dog would be barking if that was happening, and uh, well no barking dog at night.

Yet you can’t say nada, because arguing just upsets her more. You can try to convince her its not happening, but then you run the risk of being told you are making her seem stupid, or foolish. It is a no win situation and it is that which also gets to you.

I’ve been dealing with this for just over 2 years now, and I have to say. It is damn hard, and I can feel the stress building.

There is no answer, other than having to remain calm, to keep one’s cool. I wish it was easier, but then, when all is said and done, when it does get easier, it means she isn’t around anymore.  Like I said, this is a no win situation, being the caregiver for a parent.   Life just plain sucks at times, this is one of those times.

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Nightmare Only Continues

  • Posted on October 20, 2010 at 10:17 am
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It seems like an endless nightmare, on how things are said, and taken by Mom.  It is very hard to break through the fixation she gets, on what may have been said, in passing, or in an innocuous way.

Like her nightshirt is really wet.

Not meant in a bad way, a simple statement of fact, to alter the routine at the beginning. To get it off, before she caught a chill or anything, and yet now, she is worrying about how she can avoid having a wet nightshirt during the night.

Your leg is a bit swollen

An observation by a substitute worker, which wasn’t meant mean, or in an alarming manner. Thing is that Mom does have one leg that is ALWAYS more swollen than her other.  It is due to not having any arteries, but instead a vein graft that was used to replace the main arteries.  Since 2000 actually.

See, words really do matter, even if the tone is right, it is the words that she focuses on, if not downright fixates on. It makes it hard, because when those words are said, they linger & fester for her, that results in constant discussions, or should I say reassurances?

This is part of the job, and there isn’t much one can do about it, except be very cautious on what words are chosen, are spoken.  Can’t blame the workers, or their training, for the most part.  Though in some instances, one can, the point here is, words said today can lead to needless worry over several days, weeks, months, and even years.

The comments made Sept 4 2009 by Beacon Representative still linger to this very day, and makes the job just that much harder.  Poorly chosen words, results in added stress, that never seems to lessen.

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Expecting too much?

  • Posted on May 25, 2010 at 10:20 am
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Patricia Donaldson phoned this morning, regarding my complaint from the weekend. An interesting conversation, given that I think we are poles apart on what we consider proper care for the elderly.

To begin with, the policy at Beacon is that they will attempt to contact a ‘client‘ [I really hate that word, it should be PATIENT] if the worker is going to be more than 60 minutes late in arriving.  Operative word is “attempt” as it would seem they are not obligated to, and that VIHA is just fine with that.

You and I, may be able to shrug off a late time within minutes, but a person who is aged, who is like my mother, 93 years old, they don’t shrug these changes so easily. It gnaws at them, and is something for them to fixate on, and worry about. 

Sunday’s scheduled worker was pulled and sent elsewhere, and had her time changed to show up at 9:30 rather than9:00 am.  Not a big deal, but it is when an old person is sitting on the edge of their bed, waiting for them.

It alters their established routine, which is not easy for them to shake off. Since Sunday, Mom has wondered if the next day’s worker will also be late, and that has gone on now for two days.  She worries throughout the day, which adds stress to her.  AT 93 WHO NEEDS ADDED STRESS?

Of course, this added stress to her, adds stress to me too. I am the one who has to deal with it, to console her, to reassure her.  It isn’t easy for me either, but the fact is, it does have a physical impact on Mother.   AND THAT IS NOT RIGHT!

Seems to me that we should be more aware of the needs of the elderly, rather than what suits us. Maybe I am expecting too much from Government & the Private Sector, but I don’t really think so. I mean what is it, about not having compassion, about not wanting to care?

Shouldn’t those be goals we should ALL strive for?

I am starting to try and reach our elusive Government figures, because you know, what about those who have no one?  I am here, and can cajole, can reassure Mom, but what about those elderly people who are in their beds, the door unlocked, waiting for their worker?

It isn’t like they can check the computer, as most don’t even know what one looks like, let alone how to run one. Many are unable due to arthritic hands, to operate a computer keyboard, so how are they supposed to know that their scheduled worker is coming a half hour late, or an hour?

So they will sit on the edge of their bed, listening to every creak, every noise, wondering if that is their worker arriving, or if it is some stranger coming to harm them? After all, their minds aren’t quite what it once was.  Yet today, private enterprise seems to forget, that they are serving real people, not numbers.  Government is forgetting that these people are the one’s who made this country, this province.  They are forgetting, that one day, they too, will be sitting on the edge of their bed, wondering why no one has shown up to help them bathe, to get them out of bed, or worse…   to give them their daily medications.

AM I EXPECTING TOO MUCH?

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