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How Quickly Things Can Change

  • Posted on June 2, 2011 at 8:33 am
This entry is part 22 of 24 in the series Quality of Life

Another example of why it is important to have regular workers.  They know the average, they can spot the subtle changes, such as just how wet she is, in the morning, or how much better a toe looks, or doesn’t look.

Like last night, everything was fine, but not this morning.

Mom is fighting a toe fungal infection, and it looked like we had finally under control, until this morning. Suddenly there is swelling around the little toe, and the redness is back.  It is also very painful, which means the wheeler, instead of the walker.

Saturday & Sunday are scheduled substitutes.  Oh this is not going to be fun, because the two scheduled, are okay, but not for when she is in pain. Specially the one scheduled for Sunday. Problem is, Beacon simply does NOT have enough qualified workers, to substitute.

AND NOW Mom, a lady of 94, will suffer because of it.  This is the NEW ORDER, established by the Conservatives. Oh you can call the Provincial Government Liberals, call them Socialists even, but it doesn’t alter the fact that they are nothing more than an imitation of the Harper Alliance Party.

Yes we do need to watch the money, but we need to get VALUE for the money we spend. BCS needs to update it’s employees, so that qualified workers are hired, not just cheap fill ins. The Government needs to MONITOR these employees, and NOT RELY ON BEACON to run a tight and effecient and competent ship.

Call them a Charity if you want, but the bottom line for them, and for VIHA, is PROFITS.

AND IT IS THE OLD AND INFIRMED THAT PAY THE PRICE FOR THAT, AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR HEALTH, OF THEIR QUALITY OF LIFE.

How Do We Want To Be Remembered

  • Posted on March 30, 2011 at 10:23 am

Great Civilizations, come and go. Great People grace us not often enough, but how do we want to be remembered as a Nation?

There are times when I feel like I am merely tilting at Windmills, just spinning my wheels, when I talk about how things are with Mom.  It is almost like a lonely war is being waged, where there is no one fighting, other than me.  Oh I know, that isn’t true, yet when you read comments or listen to one’s political leaders, well, it can be disheartening.

I suppose many don’t consider what it is, to be old, unless you either are old, or are caring for one who is ancient.  Out of sight, out of mind, is the saying, isn’t it?  To use a phrase, old people are lost in the shadows of our society.

They aren’t out in the work force, though they used to be. They aren’t out canvassing at your door to sell you a new vacuum or to elicit your support for better schools, or a new park.  Granted, some in advanced years are, but we seem to not see them.

They become invisible to us, because they move slower, they talk softer or can’t hear us too well. So we just ignore them, like we ignore the homeless or the begger on the street corner.  We have become immune to their plight, because we are consumed with our own issues, our own little dramas and dilemas.  After all, we have mortgages to pay, rent to pay, hydro to pay, car payments, credit cards to pay, etc.  How can we be expected to worry about some invisible Senior Citizen, or why should we even care? After all, they aren’t our Parents…  yet.

It is like, who cares if there are more product recalls, or a more dangerous food supply. our immune systems can cope, or we can quickly run and get some anti biotics.  Hell, if we are scared, we can rush out to by some drugs or whatever, because we’ll just work an extra hour of overtime, or not put so much into our RRSP, right?   Doesn’t matter than a Senior can’t do that, or has a poor immune system.

I mean, they were smart people, they should have put more aside for their old age, worked longer instead of retiring at 65 or 70, right?

And yet, I don’t really think we all buy into that. I mean, we were taught by those people, to share, to be neighbourly and compassionate. They are the ones who rose up when the Tyrants of the World threatened our peace, our way of life, and they put their own lives on the line, so we could exist today, in a supposed Democracy.

They suffered, so we could have a better life, so why shouldn’t we care about how they live today? Should we really leave them to their own devices, because they believed the Government of the day, that CPP would make their old age comfortable?

I am almost 56 years old, and have nothing for my old age. Everything I ever had, is gone, trying to simply keep a roof over our head, of keeping Mom’s medications & needs satisfied. I have to split payments to Hydro, because I must wash daily, and use hot water. I have to make sure there is always money on hand, to buy depends, rubber gloves, tissues, laundry detergeant, to keep her infection in check.  It doesn’t leave much for putting aside, and no, I can’t work an extra hour overtime either, because I have to be here, at home, not out in the work force.

For that effort, I get a Government who says food safety isn’t an issue. That the food industry is better suited at insuring tainted food doesn’t get to my table. I have a Government that says Grocery Stores can sell expired food, because well, they have to make a profit, and expired food isn’t really bad.

I have a Government who thinks it is okay to give businesses like Oil Companies tax breaks, while the price per litre is $1.28. Doesn’t matter that such a price means my food costs more, my rubber gloves will cost more, as will Mom’s prescriptions. Everything will cost more, but that is okay, if they get re-elected my Government will give Mom an extra $50 a month.

These old people, are someone’s Mother, Father. Maybe they have outlived their children, or maybe their children are too busy trying to keep their own family alive, and well. Maybe they are more interested in having a new car every few years, or getting a nice summer home on one of the islands, but whatever the reason, Seniors are struggling to just stay alive.

Governments who give Private Business the job of caring for our Seniors, without any protection is the norm, not the rarity. We no longer protect our society, from greed, from incompetence. Instead we care more about Corporate Profits, about how many fancy new toys we have, than whether a woman of 94 can afford prescription cream for her yeast infection, because Pharmacare won’t cover it.

We care more about getting designer cloths, about having name brand scents, than we do if a 93 year old gets a home support worker that speaks English, or is even knowledgable in how to just help her out of bed.

That is what our society has become, one of uncaring selfishness.  We care more for how much money Business can make, irrespective of how it gets that added Profit. We have a Government who would rather give Corporations tax breaks, tax cuts, to ship our high paying jobs overseas, while spending Billions on new fighter jets, just so they can say they are behind National Security.

I don’t think this is really how Canadians want our society to be remembered, when we are all long gone and decayed. 

I guess that is why I will keep on saying it,   Anyone But Harper.     Maybe one day enough will wake up, will listen, and who knows, maybe along the way we will find that caring about others, has a much better reward, than a tax cut in five years.

Being Old Isn’t Cheap

  • Posted on March 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm
This entry is part 10 of 12 in the series Making A Difference

There are days when I wonder how other’s manage.  I am talking about those who live on a fixed income, without outside sources of income. Mom is sort of lucky, because there is David and myself, who pull earn money, that can help supplement the money needed for her care. It isn’t a lot of extra, but is the best we can manage.

I suppose we could live in a cheaper house, but then again, the cost of moving is astronomical. Hell even single bedroom apartments cost a mint these days, never mind one that can house three people & a dog. Can’t move out to the sticks either, because Mom needs to be close to her Doctor, to a pharmacy, to the Hospital.

Kind of hard to not have cable for her to watch, or listen to. I have pared it down too, but still, we need the Internet so I can at least manage some work. Also, it is an ideal way to search for information on drugs she takes, on side effects.  Good way too, to keep informed of Government programs, etc.

I try to manage our food bill, by buying only what we need, and only if it is on sale. Problem is some things like Milk or Bread rarely go on sale.  Then too, how do you provide hot meals that are substantial, if you can’t buy fresh foods. Or fruits, veggies, for that matter. Nor can you exclude them, if you want her to stay healthy.

Hydro of course, is one item I can’t control. Laundry every single day, in hot water, isn’t cheap. Electric heaters can be off, as a chill for her could be deadly. So $300 a month for Hydro is something we have to live with. Course the added water bill is not really controllable either. She needs a shower or wash each day, laundry etc.  So no way to scrimp on those.

Our Doctor is a good one, but we need the pills he prescribes, so like that isn’t an option now is it? And they do cost a pretty penny, mainly due to the way the Campbell Government manages Pharmacare here in BC.  Will Christy Clark do better?  Somehow, I am not optimistic about that. Course the Pharmacy takes a nice whack too, over $12 per prescription.  Mom needs nine ( 9 ) each month, so that alone comes to $108.00 for the first six months of the year.

Thing is, it isn’t going to get any easier, as time goes on. I hate to think what it will cost when I am in my sixties or seventies. Looking at all that Mom has to go through, all that I have to deal with, I seriously am not looking forward to old age, or the burden it would put on David.  Death looks a lot more attractive, than fighting to stay alive.

People Mom’s age shouldn’t have to be worried about choosing between pills, depends, food, or shelter. The $50 sob that Stephen Harper offered in the budget is a slap in the face to Seniors barely existing today. How many can’t afford all of their medications? How many live in hovels, or at the mercy of uncaring relatives or institutions?

How many Seniors sit in soiled depends, because in Care Homes they are limited to how many extra depends a Patient can have, without paying extra. I mean some people pee & poop more than once or twice per day. Mom alone goes through 4 to 5 depends, and in some care facilities, that would be an added $2 to $3 per day.   In other words, $60 to $90 and after they pay for the care, that is about all they have left for their own needs.

So it isn’t an option, is it?  

$50 Mr Harper?  May you never have to rely on a public Care Facility or strangers, because you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

What Do You Say?

  • Posted on March 4, 2011 at 10:53 am

Words do matter, especially with someone old. 

For whatever reason, they seem to fixate on words, and gnaw at them, which makes it a constant struggle for anyone talking to them. Simple words can result in days of needless worry and/or stress.

I wish I knew the right words, to say when Mom asks why she shakes, or why she is so tired. I know it is simply old age, that her body is gradually wearing out, but how do you tell her that?  And it isn’t like she doesn’t know, she does. You can see it in her eyes.

It is like a never ending game of charades.

Both of us pretend, that it is something we can fight & win over, but the truth is, we both know it is a struggle we cannot win. Death is coming, maybe not today, tomorrow, next week month, or even this year. But it is coming closer with each tick of the clock.  We both know it, but we hide, we play the game as if we don’t know.

Something about human beings, that make us think we can cheat death, by ignoring it. It adds stress to us both, which makes me wonder, why we can’t simply accept what will be, and discuss it as we should. 

Is it that we are cowards?

Or is it that by talking about it, we somehow are going to hasten the process? I wish I knew the answers, wish I could open up to her, & her to me, but instead we go about our normal routine, as if she is just struggling with a bad cold. It seems so insane, so unreal, yet we keep on playing the game.

Parkinson’s Disease a Possibility

  • Posted on December 20, 2010 at 4:14 pm

And now it begins, or is it that it is just continuing?

Mom is having some difficulty in controlling her limbs. They simply don’t seem to respond to her mental commands, like they used to. It makes her hesitate in getting up, her ability to grasp the handles of her walker.  Or she’ll suddenly stop in mid stride, her leg shaking, but not moving forward.

It has happened a few times before this weekend, but has become more pronounced, more frequent over the weekend.

It is hard to watch, to see her struggle like that. I don’t know how I’d handle that, but she toughs it all out, uncomplaining, until this weekend. At last it broke through, where she mentioned it, meaning it was something she has been holding back. 

Mom is one of those, silent types. She rarely complains, so that when she does, you know it is serious.  And apparantely it is.  I  emailed our doctor Sunday, and he thinks it could be the onset of Parkinson’s Disease.  ( I believe that is what the actor, Michael Fox, suffers from )

Naturally that scares me, and in looking it up, well the fear didn’t exactly go away.  Thankfully the Doctor is coming to visit Mom today ( Monday ), to evaluate her better and see. Course it also makes life more complicated.

With the inability to walk safely, it means I have to watch closer, be more attentive, plus be behind her everytime she gets up. It means, trips out of the home, have to be shorter, if at all. One doesn’t want her walking on her own, then having a shaking spell, losing her balance, & falling.

Up goes the stress now, even though it isn’t a certainty.

Makes one think about how it will be, when they become old. I am not sure I want to, which sounds defeatist, but there is something to the whole  “quality of life” concept. I am not sure it is worth sticking around, if you are wracked by pain, are immobilized or can’t even control your own bodily actions, like having a bowel movement.

The Bucket List

  • Posted on December 11, 2009 at 9:53 am

We watched the movie called The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. I am glad I watched it, and also wish I never had. It has me wondering about a lot of things, none of which is exactly restful. I mean it is about two guys who are diagnosed with terminal cancer, given only six months or so to live.

That alone, is unnerving, for me.

Worse is the choices, the question, of what would one do, if they are told that? Now, I know, a lot of people get that news, some will stay in hospital and fight for a few extra days, while others will simply bury their head in the sand, and go about their life as if nothing was wrong. Others, not many, will go and try to live their lives, to the fullest, but what is the right answer?

What would I do, if suddenly I knew my time on earth was limited?

It’s an interesting question, given how it also makes me wonder, about Mom, and her situation. I mean she knows her time is numbered, and yet she sits, day in, day out, reading, and watching the odd show. How does that make her accept the inevitable any easier?

Then too, it reminds of an age old question, asked of a wise Rabbi. Seems he posed that very same question, as in the movie, and the students complained that as they didn’t know they would die tomorrow, how could they plan for it. His answer was to say, exactly so, therefore live each day, as if it was your last.

But how can you do that? Seriously, just how can you live today, as if it was your last day, and if you do, what would you do differently?

Nice sentiment, but today’s world is not so cut and dried, now is it? However, I think he meant his answer in a more spiritual sense, which now has me thinking on that too. See, I hate those kind of movies, that make me think, yet I know I won’t be able to put this to rest. It will lurk in the back of my mind, as I watch mother, wondering if somehow I am stopping her from doing something, or if I too, am just marking time, till the inevitable arrives.

Do I show more affection, do I say the phrases of ‘I love you’ more often now, or do I simply go on, as before. Such a simple question, and yet not so easy to answer, with any honesty.

This whole part of my life, seems to be in limbo. It has its ups and downs, mostly downs, and the stress is taking its toll, or is it? Am I perhaps using some form of self defence mechanism, trying to detach myself, in order to better cope? I wish I knew the answers, but I do know, I am tired more, worn out more, and I shouldn’t be.

It really isn’t hard to do laundry every day, and yet I seem to think it is.

It really isn’t hard to wait for her to decide to go lay down, yet I seem annoyed by the interruption, not like I am actually accomplishing anything before hand. That bugs me, because really, there is enough time to do what I should do, and yet, I seem frozen, unable to make a move. Like updating my blogs.

Hell, I call myself a writer, so why can’t I do that? Why do I let myself become so frozen or mired up in the stress. It is all manageable, and what really is getting at me, is that we need the money, but I am not doing what I need to do, to make that money. I know I should be writing, should be updating, creating, yet I would rather procrastinate. Worse, I am using Mom as the reason, and truth is, she isn’t the cause.

Laundry, getting her juice, making dinner, are nothing but excuses, for not doing what needs doing, yet even knowing that, doesn’t seem to make me do more, or shake off those feelings. It is like some strange hand, pushing me away, when I know, it is my own laziness, or inertia.

I don’t get what is happening, because I don’t think I am stupid, nor do I think I am all that lazy. I get up at 6:30am every morning, and yet come midnight, I feel like I did nothing but mark time. Surely I should be doing more, and that time I am up, should be more than enough time to look after mom, and do my work.

This is all so confusing, yet the movie has made me even more antsy, more nervous. Am I losing it, or am I just finding another excuse, to be lazy?

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