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She wants it that way, but

  • Posted on December 16, 2011 at 8:44 pm

So today the Doctor dropped of a legal form, the Do Not Resuscitate form.

Yes I know it is what Mom wants, and yet, I don’t know about it.  I know that it means she dies in comfort, and won’t have ribs broken, or other discomforting issues, but this still is too much like signing a death warrant.

Mom is 94 years old, and yes, they say she could continue for years this way, though two weeks ago she did have a stroke. It now means she can’t walk, and standing is painful.  I hate seeing her in pain, and yet I don’t want to lose her.

This is perhaps the toughest thing I have had to do, until it comes.  Then that is going to be the hardest, but I still can’t sign it.

Old People Deserve Better

  • Posted on September 25, 2011 at 9:35 am

A winning smile, a bubbly personality are all well and good, if you are selling cosmetics, or clothing, or even a car. It works if you are a waitress, or desk clerk at a Hotel, and it can HELP if you are a home support worker, but that is all it can do. 

Old people, are unique.  They have lived a bit, and yeah, they can be ornery, cranky even as they get older, but honestly that is from fear of the unknown. No matter how strong your faith in GOD is, the closer you are to those final days, the harder it is to believe.  So you wind up taking it out on those around you, it is human nature.

Yes Mom can be a handful, can make life exasperating even, and difficult, but you know what, she is entitled to. She is after all 94 and to be honest, I don’t see her making it to 95.  She is tired, of the pain, of the difficulties in just doing simple tasks like getting out of bed, of standing up to go to the bathroom.

She isn’t feeble, or stupid. She knows it is hard on those around her, but she keeps fighting, fearing when her last bit of independence goes, when she becomes bed ridden.  Even I, find myself thinking about that, and I am only 56 years old.  I see how it impacts me, and I know David won’t have the patience, or the strength to cope with what I am dealing with.  So yes, it weighs on a person’s mind a lot, so how must it feel to be 94, and in such a condition?

Sure, there are other old people who are in better shape, and most in worse shape, but the last thing they need, is unwarranted stress added to their already complicated life.  They have enough pain, enough tzuris ( Yiddish for troubles ) that additional burdens are just, well cruel.

Perhaps I have a different interpretation of what Home Support is about.  Maybe that is why I am so disgusted with Beacon Community Services, and the people who run it, along with VIHA ( Vancouver Island Health Authority ) who enable outfits like Beacon Community Services to not just exist, but actually thrive.

In about ten minutes from now, I have to take Mom to the bedroom, not for a change, but to redo what the worker that was here at 9am did, so that Mom is free from pain. So that she can sit and read her book, in comfort, and be clean too.

  • VIHA needs to stop giving contracts to private businesses, without having a proper check and balance system in place. They need to insure that those who are sent into people’s homes, are qualified in proper procedures on how to get an elderly patient up out of bed, and into a bathroom for a wash and dressing.  
  • VIHA needs to take charge, and to deny contracts, or revoke contracts, from firms who place profits above quality of service.

IF you want to be in Home Care, then you need to hire staff that is qualified to do the task assigned. That means actually knowing what you are supposed to do for a Patient, BEFORE YOU ARRIVE AT THEIR DOOR.

I do this 24/7 and perhaps I am too picky, as has been mentioned to me from BCS, but hey, guess what, this is my Mother.  She is 94 and is ENTITLED to be given some consideration.  She is ENTITLED to be cared for, with respect, and with competent care.

Home Support, to me, means that you come in, to HELP, to bolster the primary caregiver by giving them a chance to rest, to be free from doing their job, even if it is for a short FIFTY MINUTES.   That means you come PREPARED to do the tasks listed in the Care Plan. 

You DO NOT use the excuse that it is your first visit, so no, you haven’t read the care plan.  HELL, if it is a first time, that SHOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN ASSIGNED A NEW PATIENT.

As a business, providing such care, it is YOUR OBLIGATION to hire qualified personnel, and to follow up and INSURE that they are doing the assigned tasks, and doing them PROPERLY.

OLD PEOPLE, cranky or ornery or whatever, DESERVES IT.

too bad VIHA and Christy Clark, along with Isabel McKenzie and Beacon Community Services, disagree with me on that.   Their one and only concern, is how much money they can pocket on the backs of OLD PEOPLE.

A Minor Reprieve

  • Posted on March 24, 2011 at 8:03 am

Thanks to some regularity in workers, in the routine, the shaking has subsided to just three episodes yesterday. The choking was a bit less, though not as much as I’d hope for. The questions of who is coming, when are they coming, has gone down to just a mere three last night.

Bottom line, is that this is day four, since BCS opted to change Mom’s schedule. Only NOW, has the impact become manageable.  This is what BCS needs to understand. When they screw around like this, it doesn’t go away within an hour or two. It lingers for days, which in turn adds wear & tear onto a body that is already under stress.

Caregiving is not easy, scheduling multiple workers isn’t easy, but it has to be done, with the Patient needs in mind, not the needs of the scheduler or corporate entity.

Piss Off Beacon Community Services

  • Posted on October 24, 2010 at 10:10 am
This entry is part 12 of 24 in the series Quality of Life

You know, it really dumbfounds me, the way Beacon Community Services operates.  They have NO CONSIDERATION for their own workers, let alone the Patients they service.  It is a constant nightmare, of wondering WHO WILL attend Mom, even though they claim to have satisfied our requests for consistent workers.

Should note, that since we began with Beacon Community Services, July 15 2009, until today, October 24 2010, we have had our regular workers, attend as scheduled FOR ONE WEEK ONLY.

In other words, the schedule of regular workers, for each day’s service, has only been fully completed, one time.   THINK ABOUT THAT!

Now, put yourself into the mind set of a 93 year old.  Tell me it won’t gnaw at you, make you nervous, worried, and upset?  Then consider how the primary caregiver is feeling, who has to deal with that upset, that stress, on a 24/7 basis.   Burnout doesn’t begin to describe the upset, or the way I feel.

THANK YOU VIHA & BEACON COMMUNITY SERVICES FOR MY ULCER & FRAYED NERVES.

What One Says

  • Posted on January 22, 2010 at 11:29 am

It may seem inconsequential, but you know, it is important on what you say, to someone who is old.  Doesn’t matter who is doing the talking either, whether it is me, David, or some home worker, it matters on what you say, and how.  Simple innocuous stories can lead to complications.

Example, this mornings home worker, talked about how two of her ladies, in their nineties, moved from a plush retirement home, to a government run nursing home, as their money had run out, to pay for the private facility.

The issue though, is she said that the one lady, hadn’t been informed by her son, as to the move. And now, not even an hour later, I am being bombarded with, would I do that to Mom, and if I do want to put her in a home, I need to tell her.

I HAVE NO INTENTION OF PUTTING HER IN A HOME, I JUST COULDN’T DO THAT.

And yet now, thanks to those remarks, she is going to be thinking of it, of wondering if I would do that to her. She should KNOW I wouldn’t, but at her age, she does imagine worst case scenarios.

YES, conversation is important between workers and patients, BUT (and that is a big but) it needs to be carefully thought out. You can’t bring up such things, that are too similar, such as an old lady being put into a home, by her son, when the person you are talking to, has a son looking after her. You NEED to know, it will weigh on her mind, lead to questions, to unreasonable fears.

It is why I harp so much on real training, for those being sent into People’s homes. I mean it seems harmless, but the truth is, the ramification of indiscriminate conversation can lead to not just a few awkward minutes, but weeks of worry. I am STILL dealing with the comments made by VIHA & BEACON REPS  from a meeting back in September 2009.  Now this comment, has only rekindled that fear, and added to it.

I know it isn’t easy, as I have to check my mouth at the door, downstairs, every morning, until I can go down after she goes to bed. Basically that means from 7am to 10pm each word I say, has to be weighed, considered, all before being uttered. AND NO, IT IS NOT EASY TO DO, BUT IT MUST BE DONE.

LEST IT SHOULD BE, IF YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE LOOKING AFTER.

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