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Consistency, Qualified, allows for Adaption

  • Posted on January 31, 2012 at 4:14 pm
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What Beacon Community Services FAILS TO UNDERSTAND is that by having Inconsistent workers, coming into one’s home, is a health and safety risk.

Regular workers are needed for those requiring long term home support.

One major reason, is that if you have consistent qualified help showing up each day, you can adapt to situations such as I had to do today.

Mom was too weak, too tired, to get out of bed, for a simple sponge bath.  Normally at 9am, that is the routine, but she was just too weak, too tired.

ONLY because the afternoon worker scheduled was qualified, did I make the decision to forgo a full sponge bath, but instead simply had the regular worker do a wipe and depend change. Even this simple procedure, exhausted Mom, but it was better than a full on bed bath.

Knowing the worker that was coming this afternoon, and that she was qualified, allowed me to not overtax Mom this morning.

It may seem trivial, minor, but fact is, the added stress can lead to serious health complications, such as Stroke. YES, a stroke, because if you are stressed, your already weak heart has to beat faster, has to pound faster to get the blood going. That is just an accident waiting to happen, so trivial, I don’t think so.    Would you think it trivial if it was your Mother?

Considering she didn’t get out of bed until just before 1 PM, I can only imagine how it would have been, if she had been subjected to a full bed bath, or sponge bath.

So by reversing the order, so that this afternoon gave her a full sponge bath, it has helped refresh her, helped to not tax what little energy she has available.  It went fine, and even generated a smile or two.

AND THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THERE ACTUALLY WAS A QUALIFIED WORKERS SLATED FOR THIS AFTERNOON.   COURSE, THERE IS THE DOUBT THAT WHO IS ON THE SCHEDULE WILL SHOW UP, BUT IT WAS A RISK I FELT I NEEDED TO TAKE.    ONE THAT WORKED OUT TODAY.

What Beacon Community Services ( and VIHA ) don’t seem to comprehend, is that worry creates stress, which in turn robs a person of not just needed strength, but the ability to think, to reason.  If you are battered with uncertainty, you wonder if you can afford to adapt to a change in the Patient’s health, or if it would be futile.

Given how BCS changes its schedule at the very last minute, fails to even notify you of those changes, it is a gamble.

Somehow, Health Care for a ninety four year old shouldn’t be a crap shoot.

I am lucky, in the sense that I can manage Mom’s routine on my own, if need be.  But what about those elderly patients who have no one to step in like Mom does?

For everyone who reads this blog, that really is the question you need to be asking yourself.  See, I know that some of these workers are top notch. They know their stuff, but the majority DO NOT.   That is just plain WRONG, and in fact, should be the other way around.  BAD APPLES SHOULD BE THE EXCEPTION,  NOT THE NORM.

It should be a no brainer, in the morning to say to the worker, let’s leave the sponge bath for this afternoon.  It shouldn’t be that I spend from 10am until 3pm worrying about will the qualified worker attend, or will BCS have pulled another of their famous switches.   It is our Tax Dollars that pays for this service, yet VIHA seems to be unwilling to set guidelines, and to ENFORCE THEM.

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Winds of Change

  • Posted on December 30, 2011 at 9:57 am
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There are times, when I just sit and look at Mom, and I wonder, what is she thinking?

I mean, her mind is still okay, except for bouts where her focus goes for a little bit of time. But it is becoming more frequent, and I wonder if she is aware of it?  There is that look of fear in her eyes and face, more now than ever before, and yet she won’t say a thing to me, or to anyone else. Her talking is becoming more limited, and I wonder, if it is due to her not wanting to worry me, or if she isn’t able to form the words that her mind wants her to say?

Her strength is less, but her fighting spirit seems intact, but that just isn’t enough. Her body is shutting down, slowly and it makes it uncomfortable and worrisome.  So when added stress is placed on her, it angers me, because for the most part, it is unneeded, unnecessary. Yet, at the same time, it irritates me too.

Things like the grinding of her teeth now, that is coming out of her anxieties, her fear, is almost non stop some times, and she is aware of it, but can’t seem to control it.  She whimpers more, because she gets nervous, at the drop of a pin.  Even her joy of reading, is now muted, and that is a clear sign, that she is slowly giving up.

I want to scream, to tell her to keep on fighting, but I don’t.

It isn’t out of fear, but I see how she suffers, and I wonder, is it all worth it? What kind of quality of life is she having now, in constant pain, constant worry?  I have told her that if she is worrying about me, and David, not to. We will manage and go on, but still I think she doesn’t believe me.

Watching a parent slowly die, is not easy, and it wrenches at one’s heart minute by minute. You can’t ignore it, because you are living it, with her. You feel the pain too, and yet so many fail to understand that.  Some do, but they are rare these days, and that only makes one even sadder. You wonder, how will it be when it becomes your turn and you feel the fear inside.  You pray, that when it is your time, you go quick, because there is less and less one can rely on, for help, for comfort.

You walk into a Pharmacy, and find out that her medicare is now on Palliative Care, which basically means that they will cover all the medical coverages, without any deductible, because they don’t expect her to survive 3 months.  It helps alleviate some financial burdens, but you wonder, why does death suddenly make them care?

Why can Government not care about a person’s quality of life, before it comes to the final stages?  And even there, they make it complicated, and worrisome.  Pills for maintenance aren’t necessarily covered, so now it becomes a guessing game.

Life just truly Sucks.

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And the Killing Continues

  • Posted on October 2, 2011 at 9:22 am
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The phone rings, it is 8:33am and before you can get out of bed, it stops.   Three short rings, and you are awake, so you check and see that dreaded phone number on the display.   Beacon Community Services.

It is like your nightmare is coming to life, because this was your first chance to sleep in, in over 2 weeks. You are exhausted from the stupidity of Beacon Community Services, the stress they caused just the last week by making schedule changes, three of them, and only two with any warnings.  You have dealt with an 94 year old who is afraid another change will happen, at any time.

The paranoia grows, the depression grows, and the fear of waking up in the morning to find that 94 year old dead, becomes a constant night time companion. It makes what little sleep you get, troubled and restless. And here we go again, the phone has rung.

So you call back, they put you on hold at first, then they want to know who you are calling for. You give them the last name, they can’t find her records, so you give them the first name and still the ‘so called’ scheduler can’t find any client ( stop calling them clients, they are PATIENTS ) by that name, so you give them the address, and STILL they can’t find her name anywhere.

You are wide awake now, and then she tells you,  “If it is important, they will call you back” and you lose it.  IT IS IMPORTANT and so you tell them NO, find out who called and why, NOW and as you try to get it across to them, the line goes dead.  You didn’t hit any buttons, so gee, they hung up.

You pull your pants on, slip on your slippers, and pull a shirt on, pissed and angry because you know something is afoot, but what, well hell, they can’t even find a listing for your accounts. IS ANYONE COMING? DID THEY DECIDE TO SEND ANOTHER INCOMPETENT SUBSTITUTE?

The thoughts race through your head as you get upstairs, and call them back.  The same ‘so called scheduler Alice” answers and miracles of miracles, she’s found who called.  ( Like how, if she couldn’t find your account when you were on the phone? ) and quick as a bunny you are transferred to Lisa.  

Lisa tells you there is a time change, you breathe a little easier, because at least it isn’t another idiot being sent, instead it is one of the few competent workers in their employ.

Here is the kicker though. WHY DIDN’T THEY CALL BACK AS SOON AS SHE FOUND OUT I HAD CALLED BACK?

So now, after over 2 weeks, another chance to get some needed rest for me, is gone. I’ll need to wait till next Sunday for a chance at not being awake and on duty at 7:30am, making it nearly a month since my last mini break.   These people haven’t a clue as to how life really is.  They need a reality check, big time but hey, they have their shiny new cars, their brand new iPhones, and they get TWO DAYS A WEEK to sleep in, if they wish.

In the meantime, another change in her routine, which means breakfast is now delayed again, and she is fragile enough, from the bullshit from just last week. Not even recovered from all that garbage, and here we go again. 

What these IDIOTS at Beacon Community Services obviously DO NOT GET, is that it takes more than a day for an old person to recover from the sudden changes. To have workers suddenly show up, that aren’t scheduled, does impact them. At night they worry who is coming in the morning, and even if you check the schedule, it doesn’t mean shit.  I checked last night, at 11pm and there was no change.   Yet here we are, the worker arrives after 9:30 and the whole day is pushed back.   Yes, that includes her lunch, and dinner, because you can’t give her lunch at noon, if she’s only finished breakfast at 11:15am.   Ninety Four year olds tend to take their time in eating, so they DON’T CHOKE.

In turn that means my opportunity to get out to get her needed supplies like Depends, is pushed back so it will take longer, because I can’t sneak out at before 11am, like was planned.  It means shopping for food is pushed back to when stores are busy, adding to the time factor, when really, there isn’t a lot of it.   It also means I am already stressed, and on edge, when I need to keep calm, to cope with her peccadillos that can drive a sane person, insane.

It is UP TO ME, to calm her down, to try and push away her fears that perhaps tomorrow it won’t be Tracy, that it’ll be someone new, or just someone else.  And honestly, even if I can convince her to not worry, it will add to my nightmares for the night.  My own body is resisting the lack of sleep, and no, one can’t just go and lie down later.  Sleep that is interrupted, broken into a bit here and bit there, is not sleep. Oh it may help in your stamina, but it does nothing for your mental state.  It only makes it more disturbed, more in turmoil, and why?

Because a person who works as a scheduler, or receptionist, couldn’t find a listing for your account, and was too stupid, too uncaring, to properly try. Oh she could find who called you, and could they immediately call you back?  Course not, what did it matter to them, they had their 7 or 8 hours sleep, so what if yours was broken, so what if your 94 year old Mother will spend the next two or three days on edge, before finally calming down. Who cares that her left leg drags, that her speech is becoming more slurred with each change, each new fear being thrown into her

After all she is 94 and expendable, she’s old.    Right Beacon Community Services & VIHA?

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Old People Deserve Better

  • Posted on September 25, 2011 at 9:35 am
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A winning smile, a bubbly personality are all well and good, if you are selling cosmetics, or clothing, or even a car. It works if you are a waitress, or desk clerk at a Hotel, and it can HELP if you are a home support worker, but that is all it can do. 

Old people, are unique.  They have lived a bit, and yeah, they can be ornery, cranky even as they get older, but honestly that is from fear of the unknown. No matter how strong your faith in GOD is, the closer you are to those final days, the harder it is to believe.  So you wind up taking it out on those around you, it is human nature.

Yes Mom can be a handful, can make life exasperating even, and difficult, but you know what, she is entitled to. She is after all 94 and to be honest, I don’t see her making it to 95.  She is tired, of the pain, of the difficulties in just doing simple tasks like getting out of bed, of standing up to go to the bathroom.

She isn’t feeble, or stupid. She knows it is hard on those around her, but she keeps fighting, fearing when her last bit of independence goes, when she becomes bed ridden.  Even I, find myself thinking about that, and I am only 56 years old.  I see how it impacts me, and I know David won’t have the patience, or the strength to cope with what I am dealing with.  So yes, it weighs on a person’s mind a lot, so how must it feel to be 94, and in such a condition?

Sure, there are other old people who are in better shape, and most in worse shape, but the last thing they need, is unwarranted stress added to their already complicated life.  They have enough pain, enough tzuris ( Yiddish for troubles ) that additional burdens are just, well cruel.

Perhaps I have a different interpretation of what Home Support is about.  Maybe that is why I am so disgusted with Beacon Community Services, and the people who run it, along with VIHA ( Vancouver Island Health Authority ) who enable outfits like Beacon Community Services to not just exist, but actually thrive.

In about ten minutes from now, I have to take Mom to the bedroom, not for a change, but to redo what the worker that was here at 9am did, so that Mom is free from pain. So that she can sit and read her book, in comfort, and be clean too.

  • VIHA needs to stop giving contracts to private businesses, without having a proper check and balance system in place. They need to insure that those who are sent into people’s homes, are qualified in proper procedures on how to get an elderly patient up out of bed, and into a bathroom for a wash and dressing.  
  • VIHA needs to take charge, and to deny contracts, or revoke contracts, from firms who place profits above quality of service.

IF you want to be in Home Care, then you need to hire staff that is qualified to do the task assigned. That means actually knowing what you are supposed to do for a Patient, BEFORE YOU ARRIVE AT THEIR DOOR.

I do this 24/7 and perhaps I am too picky, as has been mentioned to me from BCS, but hey, guess what, this is my Mother.  She is 94 and is ENTITLED to be given some consideration.  She is ENTITLED to be cared for, with respect, and with competent care.

Home Support, to me, means that you come in, to HELP, to bolster the primary caregiver by giving them a chance to rest, to be free from doing their job, even if it is for a short FIFTY MINUTES.   That means you come PREPARED to do the tasks listed in the Care Plan. 

You DO NOT use the excuse that it is your first visit, so no, you haven’t read the care plan.  HELL, if it is a first time, that SHOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN ASSIGNED A NEW PATIENT.

As a business, providing such care, it is YOUR OBLIGATION to hire qualified personnel, and to follow up and INSURE that they are doing the assigned tasks, and doing them PROPERLY.

OLD PEOPLE, cranky or ornery or whatever, DESERVES IT.

too bad VIHA and Christy Clark, along with Isabel McKenzie and Beacon Community Services, disagree with me on that.   Their one and only concern, is how much money they can pocket on the backs of OLD PEOPLE.

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Being Housebound and I Resent It

  • Posted on September 17, 2011 at 9:25 am
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It sounds bad, maybe it is, I dunno.

Mom is becoming more ‘unpredictable’ which means leaving her alone even for an hour or so is becoming less of an option, than before.  Her focus, or awareness’, is becoming an issue.  A real issue that can impact her safety.

Like yesterday, she rang her bell, wanting me to get her up out of bed, and back to the living room.

  1. I was no more than 10 feet from her, while she kept ringing the bell.
  2. She wasn’t in bed, but in the living room on the sofa.

It took several minutes (maybe 10) to convince her that she wasn’t in bed. 

Then it was somehow not about getting out of bed, but about standing up.  I got her up, and then it became she had to go to the bathroom.

And it gnaws at me. Those moments out, are all I get where I am away from her, from the constant wheezing and smells.  Even being out on the balcony isn’t enough, and it sounds so damn selfish, to want to have that time out.

Not that I do much, other than shopping, maybe an ice cream with the wife, but it is a break. And now, that seems to be dwindling away to where I will be stuck here.  It just seems, so wrong to complain about, yet it is how I feel.

And that bothers me, because I don’t think it’s right to feel that way.  Yes, it is a burden, but I am her Son, shouldn’t it be automatic?  Shouldn’t it somehow be a mitzvah instead of a chore?

It makes me question things, that should be left alone, but one has to wonder, just what is this Grand Design that God has for us? Why does he make life so difficult for some, so easy for others, and then too, why does he make good people, like Mom, suffer so needlessly?

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Combatting the Fixations, the Paranoia

  • Posted on August 22, 2011 at 9:21 am
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Our backyard is cluttered. We have black berry bushes all around the back fence to the neighbors, and to the side. The other side is filled with ‘wifey’s’ junk.  Anyone attempting to go through that backyard, is gonna either need a Tetanus shot or at least some bandaging.  It is a jungle, with a clear spot in the center. To get to the backyard, one either goes through the back door, or attempts to make their way through the sides.  Either side is just as cluttered, and perhaps treacherous, if I was to be blunt.

Yet Mom insists that people are using our backyard to get to the main thoroughfare behind us. That also includes going through the backyard neighbors yards.

Just how does one combat that fixation?

Nothing I can say will convince her otherwise. I even showed her, by taking her up to the window so she could see for herself, and yet she insists that somehow, she has seen a myriad of people using the backyard.  Course, she was in bed at the time, the drapes were closed, and you can’t see the backyard from her bed. But no, she insists she has seen people going back and forth through the backyard.

There is no handbook for any of this, and you don’t want to argue with her either. That only makes it worse, so what does a person do?

Best I can come up with, is to reassure her that no one is using the backyard, to try and get through to her that even if someone was to get into the backyard, that between David, the Dog, and Myself, we’d know it and deal with it. No one is going to tangle with the three of us.  It pacifies her, briefly, but every few days now, it comes up in some form or another.

The most recent incidents, is that she is now certain someone is deliberately shining a flashlight in her window. So she is scared to sleep, or have the window open at night, despite the room being extremely warm and humid.

Now we do have two neighbors, that have those big floodlights, that go on when there is movement in their yards.  Well one is a yard, the other is a damn pub.  So you know that light is constantly going on and off till after 2 or 3 in the morning.  In addition, car headlights can flash through. I get that in my own bedroom, which is directly under Mom’s. 

So part of the fixation is based on reality, but nothing I can say will convince her that it isn’t some deliberate person, trying to break in. It makes her stay awake needlessly, and adds stress to her already stressed life.

At the moment, the only solution I can think of, is that I’ll have to figure out a way to move upstairs, and be there for the early parts of the evening, so she will feel re-assured that she is safe. That in turn should allow her to fall asleep sooner, and take away the fear she is having now.  Problem is, that means I wind up with a great deal less sleep, and that isn’t going to help her in the long term.

Only way to avoid that, is to actually make the small room into my bedroom, which means a smaller bed, and all that goes with moving upstairs. It adds to the disconnect between me and David, but the issue is, eventually it will have to be that way. I can see it now, coming, or is it already here?

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