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Consistency, Qualified, allows for Adaption

  • Posted on January 31, 2012 at 4:14 pm

What Beacon Community Services FAILS TO UNDERSTAND is that by having Inconsistent workers, coming into one’s home, is a health and safety risk.

Regular workers are needed for those requiring long term home support.

One major reason, is that if you have consistent qualified help showing up each day, you can adapt to situations such as I had to do today.

Mom was too weak, too tired, to get out of bed, for a simple sponge bath.  Normally at 9am, that is the routine, but she was just too weak, too tired.

ONLY because the afternoon worker scheduled was qualified, did I make the decision to forgo a full sponge bath, but instead simply had the regular worker do a wipe and depend change. Even this simple procedure, exhausted Mom, but it was better than a full on bed bath.

Knowing the worker that was coming this afternoon, and that she was qualified, allowed me to not overtax Mom this morning.

It may seem trivial, minor, but fact is, the added stress can lead to serious health complications, such as Stroke. YES, a stroke, because if you are stressed, your already weak heart has to beat faster, has to pound faster to get the blood going. That is just an accident waiting to happen, so trivial, I don’t think so.    Would you think it trivial if it was your Mother?

Considering she didn’t get out of bed until just before 1 PM, I can only imagine how it would have been, if she had been subjected to a full bed bath, or sponge bath.

So by reversing the order, so that this afternoon gave her a full sponge bath, it has helped refresh her, helped to not tax what little energy she has available.  It went fine, and even generated a smile or two.

AND THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THERE ACTUALLY WAS A QUALIFIED WORKERS SLATED FOR THIS AFTERNOON.   COURSE, THERE IS THE DOUBT THAT WHO IS ON THE SCHEDULE WILL SHOW UP, BUT IT WAS A RISK I FELT I NEEDED TO TAKE.    ONE THAT WORKED OUT TODAY.

What Beacon Community Services ( and VIHA ) don’t seem to comprehend, is that worry creates stress, which in turn robs a person of not just needed strength, but the ability to think, to reason.  If you are battered with uncertainty, you wonder if you can afford to adapt to a change in the Patient’s health, or if it would be futile.

Given how BCS changes its schedule at the very last minute, fails to even notify you of those changes, it is a gamble.

Somehow, Health Care for a ninety four year old shouldn’t be a crap shoot.

I am lucky, in the sense that I can manage Mom’s routine on my own, if need be.  But what about those elderly patients who have no one to step in like Mom does?

For everyone who reads this blog, that really is the question you need to be asking yourself.  See, I know that some of these workers are top notch. They know their stuff, but the majority DO NOT.   That is just plain WRONG, and in fact, should be the other way around.  BAD APPLES SHOULD BE THE EXCEPTION,  NOT THE NORM.

It should be a no brainer, in the morning to say to the worker, let’s leave the sponge bath for this afternoon.  It shouldn’t be that I spend from 10am until 3pm worrying about will the qualified worker attend, or will BCS have pulled another of their famous switches.   It is our Tax Dollars that pays for this service, yet VIHA seems to be unwilling to set guidelines, and to ENFORCE THEM.

And the Killing Continues

  • Posted on October 2, 2011 at 9:22 am

The phone rings, it is 8:33am and before you can get out of bed, it stops.   Three short rings, and you are awake, so you check and see that dreaded phone number on the display.   Beacon Community Services.

It is like your nightmare is coming to life, because this was your first chance to sleep in, in over 2 weeks. You are exhausted from the stupidity of Beacon Community Services, the stress they caused just the last week by making schedule changes, three of them, and only two with any warnings.  You have dealt with an 94 year old who is afraid another change will happen, at any time.

The paranoia grows, the depression grows, and the fear of waking up in the morning to find that 94 year old dead, becomes a constant night time companion. It makes what little sleep you get, troubled and restless. And here we go again, the phone has rung.

So you call back, they put you on hold at first, then they want to know who you are calling for. You give them the last name, they can’t find her records, so you give them the first name and still the ‘so called’ scheduler can’t find any client ( stop calling them clients, they are PATIENTS ) by that name, so you give them the address, and STILL they can’t find her name anywhere.

You are wide awake now, and then she tells you,  “If it is important, they will call you back” and you lose it.  IT IS IMPORTANT and so you tell them NO, find out who called and why, NOW and as you try to get it across to them, the line goes dead.  You didn’t hit any buttons, so gee, they hung up.

You pull your pants on, slip on your slippers, and pull a shirt on, pissed and angry because you know something is afoot, but what, well hell, they can’t even find a listing for your accounts. IS ANYONE COMING? DID THEY DECIDE TO SEND ANOTHER INCOMPETENT SUBSTITUTE?

The thoughts race through your head as you get upstairs, and call them back.  The same ‘so called scheduler Alice” answers and miracles of miracles, she’s found who called.  ( Like how, if she couldn’t find your account when you were on the phone? ) and quick as a bunny you are transferred to Lisa.  

Lisa tells you there is a time change, you breathe a little easier, because at least it isn’t another idiot being sent, instead it is one of the few competent workers in their employ.

Here is the kicker though. WHY DIDN’T THEY CALL BACK AS SOON AS SHE FOUND OUT I HAD CALLED BACK?

So now, after over 2 weeks, another chance to get some needed rest for me, is gone. I’ll need to wait till next Sunday for a chance at not being awake and on duty at 7:30am, making it nearly a month since my last mini break.   These people haven’t a clue as to how life really is.  They need a reality check, big time but hey, they have their shiny new cars, their brand new iPhones, and they get TWO DAYS A WEEK to sleep in, if they wish.

In the meantime, another change in her routine, which means breakfast is now delayed again, and she is fragile enough, from the bullshit from just last week. Not even recovered from all that garbage, and here we go again. 

What these IDIOTS at Beacon Community Services obviously DO NOT GET, is that it takes more than a day for an old person to recover from the sudden changes. To have workers suddenly show up, that aren’t scheduled, does impact them. At night they worry who is coming in the morning, and even if you check the schedule, it doesn’t mean shit.  I checked last night, at 11pm and there was no change.   Yet here we are, the worker arrives after 9:30 and the whole day is pushed back.   Yes, that includes her lunch, and dinner, because you can’t give her lunch at noon, if she’s only finished breakfast at 11:15am.   Ninety Four year olds tend to take their time in eating, so they DON’T CHOKE.

In turn that means my opportunity to get out to get her needed supplies like Depends, is pushed back so it will take longer, because I can’t sneak out at before 11am, like was planned.  It means shopping for food is pushed back to when stores are busy, adding to the time factor, when really, there isn’t a lot of it.   It also means I am already stressed, and on edge, when I need to keep calm, to cope with her peccadillos that can drive a sane person, insane.

It is UP TO ME, to calm her down, to try and push away her fears that perhaps tomorrow it won’t be Tracy, that it’ll be someone new, or just someone else.  And honestly, even if I can convince her to not worry, it will add to my nightmares for the night.  My own body is resisting the lack of sleep, and no, one can’t just go and lie down later.  Sleep that is interrupted, broken into a bit here and bit there, is not sleep. Oh it may help in your stamina, but it does nothing for your mental state.  It only makes it more disturbed, more in turmoil, and why?

Because a person who works as a scheduler, or receptionist, couldn’t find a listing for your account, and was too stupid, too uncaring, to properly try. Oh she could find who called you, and could they immediately call you back?  Course not, what did it matter to them, they had their 7 or 8 hours sleep, so what if yours was broken, so what if your 94 year old Mother will spend the next two or three days on edge, before finally calming down. Who cares that her left leg drags, that her speech is becoming more slurred with each change, each new fear being thrown into her

After all she is 94 and expendable, she’s old.    Right Beacon Community Services & VIHA?

It’ll Only Get Worse

  • Posted on February 9, 2010 at 12:06 pm

The daily grind is something, and yet compared to many it isn’t all that bad. Seriously, I know that what I have to accomplish, each day with Mom, isn’t all that complicated, all that difficult even. And yet, it weighs on the mind, on the body so that by the end of the day, the patience is gone, the temper is in full throttle, and everything seems ready to fall apart.

Maybe the cause is the stress, real and imagined. I don’t know which is worse, the real stress of being financially challenged, or the imagined stress when a new worker is coming, or new additions to the routine are needed.

It isn’t even Mom herself, that is the cause. I don’t know, it gets complicated, but at times one feels like such a failure, that you just wish it would all end, that someone else would assume the burden, and yes, it is a burden. Still, those are the dark thoughts, and they do seem to come more frequent, than before her wrist being broken. And then there are the thoughts about what is coming next, because there will be a next, a more to follow.

IF I am finding it hard to cope now, with Mom being more or less mobile, more or less coherent, how will I manage her care when her abilities diminish, when her mobility is less, her continence is even less? What will happen if she can’t move, or becomes bed ridden?

Crazy thoughts, that seem to be running in my head, every day, and night now. Like I get a phone call telling me the normal Monday worker has booked off sick, again, and my thoughts go from nice they called, to wondering what I’ll do when the worker drops mom, or lets her fall?

It has to be crazy, to anticipate diseaster, yet that is what seems to go through my mind, on a too regular basis these days. Then too, there is the lack of patience, for when I take her to the bedroom, and she suddenly says she needs to use the toilet. I am impatient, annoyed even, and yet why?

After all, it is better that she still has some control, and I really don’t want to have to change depends that are filled with shit, yet her request annoys me. That isn’t right, and after, it makes me feel like shit. I don’t say anything, but the thoughts, they are wrong to have, yet fill my fucked up head. I don’t get it, and I don’t expect any answers, least of all from here.

Still this whole thing is becoming a living nightmare. I can’t hire anyone, don’t have the money, and no friggin way can I put her in a home. It would kill her, and I can’t do that. I know I love her, I just don’t know how to make her remaining time comfortable, to make it pleasurable.

I don’t know how to change my mind, to alter the feelings anymore. I am not some weak willed wusse, or least, I didn’t use to be, but now, now I wonder. My resolve is weakened, and it is killing me with each passing day. I feel it inside, the withering away, from the worry about what will be, or what could be.  It is wrong, stupid, and not helpful, yet it won’t go away.

God how I hate this life.

Being Involved

  • Posted on July 13, 2009 at 1:44 pm

One of the most potent memories I have, of growing up with Mom & Dad, is how nothing seemed hidden from me. It didn’t matter how old I was either, they always included me in their discussions, their choices too.

Sitting back, right now, while Mom takes a rest on her bed, I can’t seem to get that out of my head, and yet, the tears well up today, because I honestly believe she is hiding something from me.  Maybe not, but I think she knows what is happening to her, and rather than discuss it with me, she’s hiding it. WHY? I think to protect me, when truth is, I’d rather know.

Nothing every happened around our house, without the three of us discussing things. Sure when I was small, I just listened, but I was always a part of their world. When Dad had to go up to Slave Lake to the store, or Barrhead, we’d tag along too. Mind you, that was only if it was for the weekend. Otherwise Dad went alone, and I remember how the phone would ring at night, at he and Mom would talk, and that was when they’d been married a couple of decades.

And going with them, on those weekends, wasn’t about playing either. I helped in the stores, and I even remember making a nice sale to a local, who told Dad to butt out, when he came to see if he could help. Felt kind of good, but you know, the smile on his face, felt even better.

I miss those times, and I think Mom does too. I think she spends a lot of time missing Dad, and not talking about it. I wish she would.

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